*Today was a whirlwind type day. I wasn't overly busy, but my brain is tired and bogged down w/ information and questions. I want to start out by saying how faithful and awesome our God is! His faithful followers have put me in touch w/ people who are more knowledgeable about Aspergers and people who have resources at their finger tips full of info! For this I am so thankful! (despite the brain overload!)
*Marcus has been approved for an IEP(individual education program). The next meeting will be in February to set up goals and items to be included in that IEP. I am now busy gathering info of what should and should not be included in an IEP and of Marcus' rights.
*The meeting was long. I was not surprised by the things they talked about. He has "superior intelligence" (duh! he reminds of that daily lol). His scores on all his tests were above his age and grade level, however his academic work was average or below. Why? he gets bored and distracted, easily agitated ect.. His verbal skills were through the roof! (I went to school with people w/ huge vocabs. hmmm) Despite a huge vocab it is very difficult for him to express himself, especially if he is anxious or frustrated so instead of using his words he cusses like a sailor and says things like "just shoot me" ect.. Marcus has a very difficult time making and maintaining friendships bc he does not understand or recognize social norms or rules.. He lacks that filter in his brain that says "hey i better not say that bc it could make them mad or hurt their feelings" He deals in the concrete and literal. Monkey also struggles on the bus ride home bc it is a long ride. (they have a crazy route)
*Conclusions today next week he will be dropped off by the school van and avoid the long bus ride home. The teachers will be making a "safe zone" in each of their rooms just for him so he can decompress and "chill out." They will be coming up with a behavioral plan with concrete rewards and concrete consequences, I have decided since he seems ot need more time for science bc during that time his anxiety and frustrations seem to be high, he will not be participating in Spanish class for the time being. Hopefully, the results will be a less stressed Monkey and a less stressed teacher.
*At home I will be making new rules and expectation charts just for him. I will be taking felt and sewing on Velcro so he can pull them apart, similar to tearing/ripping paper. He rips paper and things when he is very agitated and escalating. He then has remorse for the things he has destroyed. He has destroyed some of his favorite books and drawings and things..
*This journey is not just about Marcus, it is about all of us as a family. We have to get Marcus settled and on the right track right now, bc he is in crisis. Then we will have to shift focus and work w/ our dtr Tahlia who may have Aspergers too. Her symptoms and behaviors are so different. I read a quote "once you seen one child with Aspergers you know one child with Aspergers". It has become quite clear it is a disorder that is as different as the snowflakes that fall!
*Today I am more hopeful, more thankful, more content then yesterday. I am working at chipping away the anger and frustration. This path and process can be so overwhelming and isolating. It is becoming clear there are a lot of people dealing with this or something similar. I feel like it is so isolating bc no one really talks about it, at least where I am from. We dont talk bc we dont want to be judged. We all have had people in our lives or people we have run into that have the ill placed piece of advice or the rude comment. They really have no clue. As far as they know your child could be having a good behavior day. Instead we need to talk to our friends and our family and our neighbors bc the more we talk the less isolating it becomes. The less we are isolated the more we can form a community of people who support each other and can be there for each other and our awesome kids! Being isolated is exactly what the devil wants,. He wants us to feel alone so we can be angry, frustrated, mean, and not connect to God like we should. The devil is the master theif and he wants to steal from us what God has intended for each of us.
*I do not want to be stolen from! I do not want Marcus or Alex or Spencer or Tahlia to be cheated from having everything God intended for them. I dont want them to settle bc they have this or that!
*I want to be a better example. I want to be the wife and mom I was created to be for these children. It is not an easy road, but we were never promised that the road set before us would be easy. I am tired of crying tears of frustration and tears from being overwhelmed. I know with praying and listen to God. Learning to listen to Him better, the prayers from my friends, and church family. That I can transform. In my transformation my children's lives will be different. I am just starting. I covet your prayers!
As my mom used to sign all letters and cards..
Gods love and Ours
De :)
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